By Kurai and Lena
Chitima
Marriage fidelity boundaries are
easier to keep when you make them hard to violate. You can:
- REJECT the lie that everyone
else is involved in sexual activity outside marriage. You are not alone[1].
- RELATE well with your spouse.
Define and communicate the values with your spouse[2]
. Monitor and evaluate your progress and
make positive adjustments. Focus on making the most of the freedoms you have as
opposed to the censures.
- REVERSE peer pressure. Be a trendsetter by taking your
values to your peers.
- RESPECT yourself and others. Make
a personal commitment to your values[3]
to care and respect your spouse and people affected by your choices.
- REMEMBER who you are[4].
It is not true that you cannot help it. Develop the courage to say ‘no’ as
appropriate[5].
- RESTRAIN your desires by wisdom[6]
and bring sexual passions under control. Set boundaries for yourself.
o
Avoid things/situations that expose you to
temptation or entrapment. Some bad influence that comes into the marriage enters through
exposure, listening, reading, watching and association. Set godly boundaries
for yourself[7].
o
Understand gender differences and effect.
Getting too emotionally and physically close to someone of the opposite sex has
implications.
o
Develop social networks that influence you
positively. Bad company corrupts good morals.
o
Have life shared goals passionately pursue with
your spouse. Without vision, you lack restrain.
o
Do not trust yourself[8].
Let him who thinks he stands take hid lest he falls.
o
Have godly people close to you who can hold you
accountable to keep your boundaries. Receive godly advice from parents and
mentors. Without accountability, there is no discipline.
o
Think consequences. Note the positive
consequences of keeping and the negative consequences of violating boundaries. There
are eternal as well as earthly consequences for sexual misconduct. It is a
major derailer of personal dreams and contributions to society. It also is a
source of mistrust and other marital problems in future. It hinders ability to
walk in the fullness of God’s love and purpose.
-
REFUSE to be conformed to unbiblical patterns. Grow
in your knowledge and awareness of God. Be richly indwelt by the word of God[9].
The word builds your faith and spiritual strength to overcome. Be quick to turn
from tempting thoughts before they develop roots and germinate as sinful
behavior. Trust God’s intentions[10].
The factors that influence
ability to respect one's own marital boundaries or not can be pull/external and
push/internal. Generally, it is
impossible for a well-founded marriage to be shaken by external factors therefore push factors need
closer attention. External factors only expose weaknesses that already
existed in the marriage relationship. Findings from a discussion on pull
and push factors at a marriage seminar provide examples:
Push factors
|
Pull factors
|
Weak marriage foundation
Depriving each other of
something, e.g. respect, love, sexual fulfillment, money.
Lack of making time for each
other
Unwillingness to seek help
Career and financial pressures
Poor communication
|
Outside people who are happy,
and ready to provide what you are
lacking in your marriage
Influence of friends,
colleagues and in laws
Cultural pressures, eg, Permissive
culture, media, role models, and art trends
Fashions that display cleavage
and torso
|
[1]
1 Kings 19:10, 18
[2]
Amos 3:3
[3]
Job 31:1
[4]
www.spform.blogspot.com/2012/10/who-am-i-new-identity-in-christ.html
[5]
Romans 6:11, Titus 2:11-12; 2 Corinthians 5: 10, 17
[6]
James 1:5, Proverbs 1; 2:10-22
[7]
Genesis 39:12, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Timothy 6:11; 2 Timothy 2:22
[8]
Galatians 6:1-2
[9]
Romans 12:1-2; Colossians 3:16; Matthew 4:4
[10]
Jeremiah 29:1
No comments:
Post a Comment